Batman and Uncharted - Games You Gotta Play!

We all knew this year would be rough on the wallet. It started a few months back with the massive numbers of releases on both PSN and XBLA, but I talked about that already. Now the holiday season is ramping up and it really kicked off with Batman: Arkham Asylum back in September.

No game has ever made you feel quite like the hero like this game has. You ARE Batman. And even though you seem to acquire MORE skills during the game, which feels a little unrealistic, all the gadgets and combat abilities make you feel absolutely bad-ass. I am not exaggerating either. The level design is genius, the characters are all voiced by the cast from the animated series, and they even got the same writer! All in all, it's more Batman than anything ever has been before.

Just when everyone thought they found their Game of the Year, we were all slapped in the face by Uncharted 2: Among Thieves. I knew it was coming so I was wide open in the end-zone.

The game starts off with the best opening 30 minutes I've ever played. The same top-notch storytelling we got from the first game is amplified ten-fold this time around and is more entertaining than most movies. The best thing is, the story is MOSTLY told through the gameplay. Whether it be from passive dialog while you're monkeying around the environment or told with all in-game scenery and characters. Which means there is never a break in the action. No continuity errors, no change of pace, no load screens and no CG that looks better than the game. It all strings together. It's a masterpiece.

I can't chose my game of the year quite yet, but both of these are on the list. Rent them, find a used copy or buy one new. Whatever the cost, they are both worth it.
~Evil Ben Kenobi

Corey Black - Finger In My Nose-video

It's The Force or you on the other side. lets go

Poe interviews Shorty Lo's hair lining...

The views of the following interview do not represent the views and belief's of the writer's nor staff member's of The Shake.

After the highly controversial "Letter to Gucci Mane's Belly"..we received a request for an interview from his long time friend "Shorty Lo's hair lining"



Let's get it in...
*SHL "Shorty Lo's hair lining"

MMS: So we've heard the rumors and everyone wants to know, is it true that Shorty Lo has HIV?

SHL:Dey Know...


MMS: ummmm okay?...we notice you have a problem with geometry,you never appear to be evenly cut like a regular hair lining, who's the blame for this?


SHL: I'd have to say that Carlos (Shorty Lo) has such a big head that the clippers get confused when the barber starts cutting his hair,it's truly not his nor my fault but those damn clipper's,they are always acting a fool...Dey know! Plus his Barber is certified blind..so there's nothing we can do about that..he used to be a group member of D4L until we discovered Fabo.Right about the sametime I started beefing with Lil Boosie's "hightop fade box" and Webbie's teenage mutant ninja turtle looking ass, for having a "Bob", it's the 21st century...they need to cut them shits off,don't ask me shit talk to the barber.

Beyonce said it best they like low cut's with the deep waves,anyways I'm just running my mouth--fuck the whole industry!! I mean that sincerely these dudes is bitches and I put that on my barber,so go talk to him becuz we coming for all y'all-Dey know!?!

MMS: So what role did you play in the beef with T.I.?

SHL:Man I talked to Tip yesterday--we aint even have no motherfucking beef that shit was all him and Carlos,I bought every single album he ever made...I looked him dead in his eye at the BET Awards 2 yrs ago and told him, I was fucking with him because me and him the only true kings of the south,the rest of these rappers are bitches Dey Know?!?!,ask Carlos he'll tell you,I only mess with a few of these fools,Missy Elliot need to get at me, becuz Timberland said I'm the realest/most talented/ thing to touch the industry since Eminem,I get it in on that motherfucking microphone, right now I'm ghostwriting for Slaughter House, Drake,Madonna, and Project Pat..niggas really can't fuck with me--them motherfucking hair clipper's is cowards!!


MMS: So you've decided to take the path less travelled and blame it on the hair clipper's? Maybe Carlos should consider taking the surgical route...a skull reduction since his head is so big?


SHL: See that right there would eliminate my shine and myself and his forhead are constantly at war.I can not be denied,I went from being a neighborhood superstar to internationally known...it must be two sides becuz you definetly don't get get get it!!


MMS:Hold on now, you contacted us ..we're just tryna get the fair and balanced story...no need to get sassy.Next question what else do you know about Shorty Lo's forehead?We heard you guy's both have solo albums coming out..True?

SHL: Yeah me and Carlos' forehead go waaaaay back no pun intended ya'dig!?,We both dropping album's this year,I told Shorty Lo he could take sometime off kick his feet up,we got this shit and I'm addressing all rumors,I will definetly be dropping a diss record on Fabolous' chipped tooth,I'm addressing the beef between me and Jeezy's Milkdud,and T-Pain's top hat.I gotta song on there called "Why You So Dusty" talking bout Charles Hamilton's afro.I also gotta feature from Souljah Boy's eye brow's and Gucci Manes Belly.Tell Nelly's new ab's to kiss my ass...Dey know!?!!!?!

MMS: Damn man you seem entirely way too angry, any last words??


SHL: Yeah Dey know!??!,tell Foxy Brown to tell her weave the Bitch better have my money!! Rihanna- fuck your face!! I fucks with Chris Brown's fist--them my dudes they get's it in!! Lil Kim's fake ass titties need to holla at a player,and Drake's knee's need to man the fuck up! I'm bussing heads next year waiting on this deal with Def Jam South to finalize,then I'ma knock that damn hat off of Ne-yo's head.I'm on some Makaveli the don shit...Rick Ross already told his facial hair to fuck with me because real recognize real..Me and Trina's ass got some unfinished business,Lil Wayne better tell his damn shitlocks to shut the fuck up!

MMS...wow (no comment)

Royce da 5'9 f. Phonte - Something 2 Ride 2

I love this dude music. It bothers me that he is not a house hold name the most underrated M.C. why Def Jam didn't grab him up. Why did Dr. Dre have to be a bitch.

Bama's open Letter to Gucci Manes Belly

This has been along time coming and I just gotta get this off my chest.

I found a dvd with two hours worth of bootleg Gucci Mane video footage on the bus oneday.I often watch this video for a good laugh because I find it quite comedic.I've been biting my tongue bout this issue but I gotta get it out.

Dear Gucci Manes Belly,
I have noticed in recent times that you've decided to start spiraling out of control.Your owner seems to force you upon us by rejecting the notion of putting a shirt over you.I have never met you and I'm sure you mean no harm but I'm almost for certain you are fully aware of your actions.Look I don't know much about the cruel wicked traphouse's of ATL but I speak for myself and many others when I say please tell that nigga to be mindful of our vision.

I won't slander his music or english diction.This letter isn't about any of that stuff.It's bad enough when muscle bound guys like Tyson Bedford and David Beckem refuse to cover up their six packs.I think those guys have become unconsciously gay for themselves.In the world of fast food and Miller Highlife's you have become a victim of your own gluttony.I've heard rumors that you were actually a secret Starship hangar for alien spacecraft.I've also heard that you were responsible for devouring the entire cast of the hit 90's tv show "New York Undercover".If this is true could you please tell us all rather or not Malik Yoba has finally put some Carmex on those ashy ass lips.Hip Hop is not dead it's hibernating inside Gucci Mane's stomach.The winter time is quickly approaching and the weather is constantly becoming "So Icy" outside.You may to take a few precautions and utilize this knowledge.


You may think that your helping Mr.Gucci's career by turning your swag on.But this is not true, last month I saw you on BET and promptly invited a Catholic priest to drench my television with Holy Water.We are afraid of you and we just wish this nigga would keep you out of our site.Geographicly you've earned your own space on the global map.Google Earth has revealed that you have found a stenciled position next door to Nebraska yet you are also neighboring Idaho.The two of them are nowhere near each other so I have no clue how this has worked out for you.

I have so many questions for you.Is Gucci Mane pregnant? Are you signed to Young Money? Is Nikki Minaj secretly in love with you?? What is your stage name and why are you here? Where you the first human body part signed to Deathrow? Is Tupac Shakur hiding inside of you? Did you drop an album on No Limit Records?

I heard you are now beefing with Shawty Lo's hairline.Barack Obama has labeled you "The biggest threat to our Soveriegn nation since Rosie O'Donell came out of the closet".I pray shall for your soul Gucci Mane's Belly.I have hope that you will find salvation inside my lord and savior Jesus Christ.

Sincerely

Poe-

Barry Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize

Something magical has happened once again-history has been made.The stars have aligned while heavan and all the angels rejoice with childish glee.Each and every bird of the never ending sky has joined forces to sing sporadically all at once.There is no more hurt nor pain in existence.We may now feel free to rejoice and high five each other like a group of teenagers at a high school football game.Let us now roll the drum and unravel the red carpet...Barack Obama has won the nobel peace prize all while his country is entangled in two wars.It has been rumored that one drop of his blood can cures herpes/hiv.

This is the hope we hoped to see.

So hit me one more time with another greatly written speach filled with plenty deception and good ole' American folk lore.

The End is Near...tell 2012 to Suck My Penis...

Rockwell Knuckles had a great performance lastnight with DJ Trackstar on the wheels,I made a serious cameo and The Force shut it down.


Now let's get down to buisness.A vast majority of everything you know is a blatant lie. I'm not gonna slander anyone's belief's but the truth is undeniable.America has never landed a single foot on the moon.I know you want to believe the fairy tale story they've pitched to you and I won't go in on the details.In the modern age of folk lore it's difficult to determine fact from fiction.History doesn't always accurately portray itself.

In two thousand years Michael Jackson will be a whiteman.History will rewrite itself and the greatest performer of alltime will be considered caucassion.This has happened time and time again. The proof is in the pudding many historians believe Bethoven was actually black.The Bible says Jesus had bronze skin and hair like wool.

History says he looked like a European had blonde hair and talked like a surfer.I'm trying to introduce an even more cohesive point so work with me because I'm building.History within itself is actually a mystery.

The truth is we've inherited a bunch of lies.Half of this shit didn't happen at all the way that they've claimed it did.With 2012 on the brink we're hearing all types of craziness about the end of the world.Let's be real about it nothings gonna happen.Your all gonna wake up the next day and still be enslaved by your pathetic lives.You need to change yourself and become a better person-- humanity sucks and the self proclaimed "end of the world" won't take you out of your misery.So I ask you to try caring about something greater than yourself and your little proxy patterned lifestyle.The world is gonna end in a few years but I need a brand new gas guzziling,pollution producing car today. GTFOH!!! ...if we really believed the world was gonna end shortly then we're even more wack than I previously thought because nobody is doing a thing about it.All we're doing literally is making more babies--fucking ourselves into over population like some sick rabbits.

I see this as another attempt by people who lead irresponsible lives to continually live carelessly and blame it on the myth that the world is ending.If a life changing event does happen around this time chances are its gonna be so small that we won't notice it.Your still gonna work at QuickTrip 2012 won't save you.


I hate humanbeings because we have it in our genetics to destroy anything that we don't understand.I see a bug on the ground,I instantly raise my foot to step on it and compress it's body into the concrete like a pyscho-maniac.Apart of me is like damn that's dead wrong I just killed this bug but I think about it for maybe one tenth of a second and quickly move on.I think to myself "it" deserved it because I am a member of the superior species,we eat hamburgers,drink Coca cola,wear condoms,watch ESPN Sportscenter,and we also wipe our ass after we use the restroom..so pyschologicaly I think to myself "I had every God given right in the world to kill that motherfucker".


One day evolution is gonna get the best of us and the insects will grow to be the size of a puppy.They're gonna attack the shit out of us and that's gonna be all she wrote.I think they may all be waiting for this moment to take place shortly after 2012.Hollywood will make a movie about it titled "They Day they Became Puppies" or "The CockRoach Puppy" ...in the family friendly Disney version a lil caucassion boy and his friends are gonna use his pet Roach to save the world.Sorta like ET meets Jurassic Park with a pinch of Superman's heroics, and the flare of Will Smith's Men in Black.I smell a blockbuster hit.

Let's add a hip hop music video with the Roach rapping some of Tupac's lyrics imagine a giant ass bug spitting "You fat motherfucker that's why I fucked yo'bitch"!!!(I see it already 20 million sold).


All of this sounds pretty over the top right?Well that's what the 2012 myth,is a bunch of over the top madness based upon the beliefs of a group of people that didn't do a good job documenting history.The ancient myans didn't have Microsoft,no laptops's, Youtube or Twitter so I'm sorry they loose.It's my personal belief the guy that has 800 friends on Facebook knows the secret of life and has more valid info than these baffoons that worshipped the sun and thought the river was a goddess.These people were idiots of course they thought the world was gonna end in 2012.

It could happen but it probably won't.
I'm not writing any of this completely off. Realisticly the world does have to end someday everything has a start and a finish and 2012 could very well be it for us but I strongly doubt it.The human race can't sustain life forever we will eventually morph into something else or perish off completely.I'm sorry religous people but God is the greatest bio chemist/ scientist of alltime..evolution is very real to some degree.Besides most of you fuckers are too lazy to stop fucking up shit...the Earth is indeed sitting on a ticking time bomb and one day it definetly will explode.Nuclear weapons and handguns are gonna kill us all before anything else.


-Bama

Bama vs Your favorite Slut Fuck Rapper

For some reason I find the female rapper Trina highly annoying.She talks about fucking and sucking all the damn time but we've yet to see a sextape.I don't think women should have to stoop to this level in their music but if your gonna rap about it then you should definetly be about it.

Maybe I shouldn't single Trina out the pack but to me the same rules apply. If we call certain guys studio gangster's then we need a term for these lady rappers that sale sex yet never show and prove for the camera.If you claim to be bout that then I need to see some action.Anybody can get in the booth and rap about sucking dick and letting sperm go all down your throat.Anybody can claim to have the best pussy in the world,it's so good that niggas buss six nutts before their pants are unzipped.

I'm not a fan of Foxy Brown either-- all that rapping about the "Ill na na" but her skills were actually the real version of any intelligent music lover saying "hell na na". I give Kim a pass because it's partially B.I.G's fault.Even still the porn industry is too lucrative for them to act like it doesn't exist.I'm too grown to sit up and listen to these women pretend to be cum dumspters.This is one of the main reasons I know these industry niggas are fake becuz I promise on my life all that "pretending" will do you no justice with a nigga like me.

One night with me and these chicks will either live what they rapping about or find some new subject matter because I'm coming up in this piece to move some ovaries around.Eve used to be a stripper she doesn't even rap about sex and a sextape popped up on her..sadly enough I can respect that because she aint bullshitting.You don't hear her on records bragging about letting these astranged "ballers" put their penis in her open eye socket.A real woman get's it in without bullshitting.

I always notice how the guys that come to the basketball court with brandnew Jordans and Jumpsuits right off the racks can't hoop to save their life. The same science applies to rap...dudes rocking a million chains, 60,000 diamonds in his mouth, and this imbecile can't wrap a sandwich with aluminum foil.I'm tired of hearing these women act like they would brush their teeth with the dick but in reality wouldn't do shit-- I'm telling you these industry cats must be extremely lame because I'm tryna to relocate your stomach lining.

Men are stupid that's the only reason this genre is still around.You can't amuse me by rapping nasty.I'm a grown ass man I need to see some action before I'm convinced.If this bullshit amuses you then I'm sorry...your probably a wack ass nigga that doesn't know how to properly lay the pipe.
I'd run a 24hr marathon on Nikki Minaj just for talking so much shit about her love for the penis.I used to masterbate to Lil Kim video's when I was younger then I grew the fuck up and discovered that these women were less respectable than the two dollar prostitutes on MLK.


-Bama

The Re-emergence of Coon Rap

Me and The Force(Nato Caliph,Vandalyzm,Rockwell,Tech Supreme,Black Spade,DJ Trackstar,Gottabe Karim,BE Trotter,) were all down in Atlanta for the entire weekend soaking a lot of backstage action at A3C,Rocky killed his performance,myself and Nato Caliph did a citywide radio interview for Georgia Tech and ended the session by freestyling on the air.
Trackstar deejayed for Killer Mike aka Mike Bigga formerly of Outkast fame but now signed to Grand Hustle.

Killa Kill was so impressed by our unified front that he twitted about us.I saw almost every underground rapper you could think of.The industry knows St.Louis has soldiers now and the legacy is growing more everyday.We had each other's back and I fully support all my cats no matter what can't tell me nothing negative bout any of them..I'm not hearing it.

We were basicly surrounded by industry people and noteworthy or semi-famous emcee's and major blog sites all weekend long,XXL Mag did a write up about the event on their site.
If somebody would've dropped a bomb on Atl this weekend a vast majority of the underground hiphop scene in this country would've been dead.To sum it up-- fucking Rakim performed...shit was crazy.


Not my first gig or trip outta town for music but definetly the first on this scale and I'm happy me and the guys I came in the door with got to experiance it together.We've all been knowing each other for a very long time and it was nice to see people reacting to us as a cohesive unit.

I already had a trip to Chi town planned to do some recording with Vic Spence before this but it's official--we've began to make waves outside the city and this energy has to carry over into even bigger things.Black Spade has been oversea's across the ocean repping the Lou several times.I aspire to do this by the end of next year.

Next big trip is in March.If you have no clue what I'm talking about do some research and make sure your there.Please all St.Louis performer's we must start leaving--if people here don't understand you don't try to make'em the pastures are greener on the otherside and we're showing you the light.These imebeciles here are dumb and only wanna sell drugs and have babies.

People here are slow and like anything that promotes looking and sounding like a damn moron.I hate it and I won't cosign it for one bit.Most of these people need to put their face in a toilet bowl full of urine and flush it.Our very own newspaper's and media outlet's don't even accurately follow the hip hop scene.They virtually have no clue what's going on and nobody gives a damn...the message is loud and clear which is a shame because our talent slam dunks other cities.They'd rather give an award to Thomas Jefferson's dead body before they did the proper research and accurately gave credit to those that deserve it.


While I was down there oddly enough I didn't hear any coonery.They played a few Shawty Lo and Jeezy songs and sure they ran a couple southern dance records....but I didn't officially hear anything that sounded blatantly stupid until I got home.I heard a bunch of Jay-z records down there and we all know Jigga isn't dumb.

I don't know if negroes have functioning ear's or maybe I'm wrong.We are currently living in a world were it's perfectly okay for a grown ass man to talk about selling crack while yelling "aaaye okay okay aaaye aaye" in the background this negroe sounds like he is rapping with a extra large black and brown penis in his ass.

In three days I didn't hear one Gucci Mane record.I didn't hear one single song from OJ da Juiceman.I turned on stlhomejamz and felt like I was listening to a fucking prison spelling bee.A lot of you bastards should stop promptly.You know in the depth of your heart that you don't love music.Hip Hop will not be your exit out the hood because you all are supreme idiots.

Your music sounds like the soundtrack to slavery.
And this doesn't just go for the "trapper rapper's" but also the west county,St.Charles garbage wearing "I RUN STL" t-shirts but you live in St.Charles...you don't run shit buddy I'll have you "running in stl" tryna get back to St.Chuck.Reality is it doesn't matter what kind of music you do..deep down inside you know your songs suck balls,you know your performances are like terrorist attacks that kill people with wack music.You know you fucking suck!...You know what good music sounds like and it sounds nothing like yours.

I really have developed a strong sense of hatred for you musicians from my city that seem to think its okay to purposely sound like you don't know how to read or write.I wish you all would die.I wish your mother's would've had the lips of their vagina's superglued shut.There's no excuse for sounding like a damn Monkey with a bullet in his throat.

The debachery has to stop...I came back home telling some of my cats that try to make "radio friendly" music that they didn't have to do this bullshit and honestly artist's such as myself that stay true to ourselves have a bigger buzz at the moment.I didn't see anybody from the crib down there getting it in except me and my team --and I know for a fact that none of us sound like a belligerent gorilla.

Stupid people think it's cool to sound stupid because they are stupid.That's the main ingrediant right there folks.I hope all of these people go to prison and get raped by Tyrese.